Tipping

Tipping

There has been a thread going in the University of Alberta’s SU webboard about tipping so I felt that it was necessary to provide the altime best movie scene on the issue…it is of course Mr. White’s ideas on tipping from Resevior Dogs.

NICE GUY EDDIE:Okay, everybody cough up green for the little lady.

Everybody whips out a buck, and throws it on the table.
Everybody, that is, except Mr. White.

NICE GUY EDDIE: C’mon, throw in a buck.

MR. WHITE: Uh-uh. I don’t tip.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Whaddaya mean you don’t tip?

MR. WHITE: I don’t believe in it.

NICE GUY EDDIE: You don’t believe in tipping?

MR. PINK: (laughing) I love this kid, he’s a madman, this guy.

MR. BLONDE: Do you have any idea what these ladies make? They make shit.

MR. WHITE: Don’t give me that. She don’t make enough money, she can quit.

Everybody laughs.

NICE GUY EDDIE: I don’t even know a Jew who’d have the balls to say that. So let’s get this straight. You never ever tip?

MR. WHITE: I don’t tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, that shit’s for the birds. As far as I’m concerned, they’re just doin their job.

MR. BLUE: Our girl was nice.

MR. WHITE: Our girl was okay. She didn’t do anything special.

MR. BLONDE: What’s something special, take ya in the kitchen and suck your dick?

They all laugh.

NICE GUY EDDIE: I’d go over twelve percent for that.

MR. WRITE: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we’ve been here a long fuckin time, and she’s only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.

MR. BLONDE: What if she’s too busy?

MR. WHITE: The words “too busy” shouldn’t be in a waitress’s vocabulary.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.

They all laugh.

MR. WHITE: These ladies aren’t starvin to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn’t lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.

NICE GUY EDDIE: Ahh, now we’re getting down to it. It’s not just that he’s a cheap bastard–

MR. ORANGE: –It is that too–

NICE GUY EDDIE: –It is that too. But it’s also he couldn’t get a waiter job. You talk like a pissed off dishwasher: “Fuck those cunts and their fucking tips.”

MR. BLONDE: So you don’t care that they’re counting on your tip to live?

Mr. White rubs two of his fingers together.

MR. WHITE:Do you know what this is? It’s the world’s smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.

MR. BLONDE: You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.

MR. WHITE: So’s working at McDonald’s, but you don’t feel the need to tip them. They’re servin ya food, you should tip em. But no, society says tip these guys over here, but not those guys over there. That’s bullshit.

MR. ORANGE: They work harder than the kids at McDonald’s.

MR. WHITE: Oh yeah, I don’t see them cleaning fryers.

MR. BROWN: These people are taxed on the tips they make. When you stiff ‘em, you cost them money.

MR. BLONDE: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It’s the one jab basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.

MR. WHITE: Fuck all that.

They all laugh.

MR. WHITE: Hey, I’m very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That’s fucked up. But that ain’t my fault. it would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn’t do that, I’ll sign it. Put it to a vote, I’ll vote for it. But what I won’t do is play ball. And this non-college bullshit you’re telling me, I got two words for that: “Learn to fuckin type.” Cause if you’re expecting me to help out with the rent, you’re in for a big fuckin surprise.

MR. ORANGE: He’s convinced me. Give me my dollar back.

Everybody laughs. Joe’s comes back to the table.

JOE: Okay ramblers, let’s get to rambling. Wait a minute, who didn’t throw in?

MR. ORANGE: Mr. White.

JOE: (to Mr. Orange) Mr. White? (to Mr. White) Why?

MR. ORANGE: He don’t tip.

JOE: (to Mr. Orange) He don’t tip? (to Mr. White) You don’t tip? Why?

MR. ORANGE: He don’t believe in it.

JOE: (to Mr. Orange) He don’t believe in it? (to Mr. White) You don’t believe in it?

MR. ORANGE: Nope.

JOE: (to Mr. Orange) Shut up! (to Mr. White) Cough up the buck, ya cheap bastard, I paid for your goddamn breakfast.

MR. WHITE: Because you paid for the breakfast, I’m gonna tip. Normally I wouldn’t.

JOE: Whatever. Just throw in your dollar, and let’s move. (to Mr. Blonde) See what I’m dealing with here. Infants. I’m fuckin dealin with infants.

Snow!

And the best part is that is not even the biggest news of the week. I have gotten a reply for a job out in B.C. They were wanting to know if I was willing to relocate. This is a very good sign as it means I am probably on their short list. I am looking forward to hearing from them next week. It would mean that I need to find a place in Port Coquitlam but it would be a great experience.

The other great news is that I am going to Victoria for St Patty’s. Dave and I are flying out for a couple days to visit Steve, and I have gotten a hold of some of the summiter’s and we may have a little reunion on the island.

As far as around here I have been working a lot and even managed a 14 hour shift the other night. Things are continuing to fall apart at the YC, and the grouphome is always interesting. I am also beginning to lose a lot of my time to the UofA webboard as it is up and running again. Always great fun there.

Lastly I have decided that if I should die I want it to be “death by misadventure”.

Odd

It seems that later this week we will finally be getting our typical winter weather, for a couple days. Now if only we could get enough snow to make things white outside. Thats the part of the winter I am missing this year. Having everything brown just isn’t doing it for me.

I have managed to have a bit more of a social life these past few weeks, or at least planned to. We managed to get a decent sized group together for Nicole’s B-day, as well as I have gone out for coffee with a few people. I have also been able to catch up with some friends on messenger that I haven’t spoken to in forever. This has made me realize that I need to setup a gathering, the only question is when and where…

This is a problem for me in that my new job is going to have me working saturday to thursday and I will still be doing fridays at the YC. the good news is I will be free after 9pm everyday except fridays.

I am hoping that the weather is nice enough to do some photography on campus Wednesday morning before going for coffee with the lovely katie. I also hope there is a fat cheque waiting for me at the bookestore. I hope to have my website better established by the end of the month, then I may think of moving my blog.

Also if you read my blog send me an email so I can determine who my readers are so I can make the blog more oriented to what you are looking for. Or maybe I can even set up categories within the blog.